


Please don't hang your head and cry

by orphan_account



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst/Comfort, F/F, i wrote kaede angst and it accidentally became kaemiu, kaede centric, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:48:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22299589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kaede Akamatsu cries four times.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Amami Rantaro, Akamatsu Kaede & Shuichi Saihara, Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	Please don't hang your head and cry

The first time was in front of Shuichi.

She doesn’t even remember what they were talking about.

Maybe it was about a dog, or some other pet, or something in one of Shuichi’s cases that he explained earlier made her upset and only now was it sinking in. Maybe it was some part of the song she was playing on her piano that prompted the tears. She didn’t know, but it was there. The tears were there. There, right in front of her best friend. After they practiced their piece together. God, talk about impeccable timing.

“U-uh? K-Kaede?” Shuichi poked her softly. She didn’t respond and he poked her harder; this time, she did notice him. “Are you crying?”

She looked up at him from her hands in her skirt and brought those hands to her eyes. They were wet.

“Oh! I am, aren’t I?” She laughed. It wasn’t a real laugh. “This happens sometimes. Don’t mind me.”

“I can’t just ignore this, Kaede. I can’t ignore you like that. After you’ve helped me, I mean.” Shuichi’s eyes were fire in Kaede’s damp ones. Even with his hat (he wore it for comfort sometimes) covering one of his eyes, she could see he truly felt that way.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Really? I always told myself that, but I really wasn’t, and you should-”

“Shuichi, I wouldn’t lie to you, would I?” She straightened the music on the stand that was attached to the piano as a distraction. I would.

He gave her a disappointed look. “I...I guess not. But-” He took his hat off so he could look at her squarely. Kaede kept looking at the music. C-sharp minor. Five-four time. “-promise - promise me, Kaede - that you’ll come to me when something is wrong.”

“I will, I will,” she assured him and smiled. The tears were basically gone now. It’s just a small lie. It’ll be okay. “A-and sorry for bothering you with this. You deserve a better friend than the stupid piano freak.” She wiped another tear and hoped her voice didn’t crack or quiver too much.

“It’s not a bother, Kaede. You know that. And you’re not stupid.”

Yeah, sure I’m not. “Thanks, Shuichi.”

“It’s not a problem, and you know that.” He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath, a thing he did commonly to calm down when he was nervous. “Now, do you want to keep playing? You don’t have to; I can try and play for you. I’m not very good, but-”

“No, no, Shuichi. We can keep playing together. I’m fine.”

A sharp breath came out of Shuichi’s nose. “...Okay.”

The second time was in front of Rantaro.

They were painting her nails. They had regularly scheduled (every Tuesday in the A/V room) nail painting dates in order for Kaede’s nails to stay nice and short for her piano playing. It was great, since she was quick to chip her nails. And a little color never hurt anyone, right? It was small enough that if she performed on stage nobody could tell, anyway.

Rantaro was able to find the rhinestones they had previously mentioned putting on her and was applying them delicately to her right hand. They were quiet most of the time on these dates, and Kaede was the conversationalist, but today the roles seemed to be swapped. Rantaro couldn’t keep that mouth of theirs closed.

“Oh, and I think you’d like Hotaru...she’s probably the sweetest of my sisters! She acts really young, but she’s only a year younger than me...she’d always believe anything I’d say.” They put the brush back in the bottle of the current polish they were using before moving to the next. “She had a fascination with music, cello, namely. I think you’d hit it off with her, huh, Kaede…” Their words slowed as they looked up to see Kaede looking to the left with big tears rolling down her face. Rantaro recognized this immediately and their big brother instinct seemed to immediately kick in. They capped the lid of the polish and pulled Kaede into a tight hug which she accepted gracefully (or as gracefully as you can when you’re a crying mess), tears only growing in size. “Oh, honey, honey, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?”

She tucked her chin over Rantaro’s shoulder. “I- I don’t-” She hiccuped. “I don’t kn-kn-kn-”

“Hey, hey don’t force it out if you don’t want to. You’re okay, Kaede. No need to explain yourself to me.” They were stroking her hair now. It was nice. Their sisters are lucky to have such a good older brother. Kaede brought shaky arms around Rantaro and buried her head into their shoulder and just let herself cry. This felt nice.

When she had cried herself out, with lots of hiccuping and shaky breaths, she pulled back. Wiping the left over tears with her white sleeve, she took a big sniff and looked at Rantaro’s shirt. “O-oh! Oh, God, Rantaro, I’ve ruined your shirt.”

“What, this? That’s the least of my worries right now. What I’m worried about-” They placed a hand on each of Kaede’s shoulders and shook them slightly for emphasis. “-is you, Kaede.”

“That’s not necessary, Rantaro. I’m okay.”

“Really?” They cocked his head to the side, their vibrant hair falling over their face. “You didn’t seem okay, Kaede. People only cry like that when they’ve been keeping it in for a long time.”

“No, really, Amami, I’m okay.” She shrugged their hands off her shoulders and switched over to his last name without realizing it. Maybe this’ll get them to drop the topic. “I promise. I wouldn’t lie, right?” This is the second time.

“...Okay, Kaede. I’ll believe you this time. But I’m here for you, alright? We all are. Can’t have you bottling these things up and making jokes about them as a way to make them seem smaller, right?” They smiled a big, goofy grin. That smile seemed to be one of a hypocrite. “Now, do you want to finish?”

“Yeah, let’s.” She held out her hand, they took it, and continued to paint her nails.

The third she was with Miu

Miu was joking. Kaede knew she was joking. Miu was always joking when she was called Kaede stupid.

Kaede knew that.

And yet she was crying in front of her girlfriend.

“O-oh, G-God, Bakamatsu, this never happens.” Miu was crying herself, now, but it was the weak tears she almost always has. She was running gloved hands through Kaede’s hair, fingers occasionally running against Kaede’s scalp. They were cold hands, but then again, Miu was always cold. “I-I’m always seeking comfort from you! Oh, I don’t know what to do at times like this..,” Miu moaned.

All Kaede could was snuggle in closer to Miu as they lay down and cried in the grass together. God, look how useless Kaede was, making her own girlfriend cry. Miu was right; she was just Bakamatsu. A stupid piano freak. A girl who was only good to be everyone’s friend. Who cared if she was alone? Or wasn’t there, even?

“U-uh...D-d-do you want t-to talk about it, Bakamatsu?” Miu finally piped up after laying the grass for who knows how long (well, it couldn’t have been long; the sun was still shining in this dome).

Kaede tried to form words, only for a couple stammered “I”s and voice cracks and sniffles. 

Miu kept petting her hair. Her gloves were kind of rough, but they were nice. “I-it’s okay, r-really. You don’t have to tAlk-” a voice crack, to which Miu coughed before continuing “-about if you d-don’t want to. B-but did I do something? Because I can st-stop, I p-p-promise. And if you want me to l-leave you alone or f-for you to n-n-never see me again, I c-c-can, but it’ll be kinda hard with how we’re stuck in this dome, s-so-”

“No, Miu. Don’t leave me a-alone.” Kaede pulled Miu tight. “N-not like before. No. Not l-l-like then. D-d-d-don’t make it go back to th-then.”

Miu paused with her hand on Kaede’s head, possibly thinking of pushing on about what Kaede meant by “then”. However, she seemed to decide against it (presumably to avoid another onslaught of tears from Kaede as she was forced to explain what she meant), and went back to petting Kaede’s hair. “A-alright, K-Kaede. I won’t leave you. I’ll stay.”

“Th-thank you.” Kaede still wasn’t over her breakdown though, as she buried her head further into Miu’s chest. It was soft. No wonder Miu went around boasting about it constantly.

“A-and you won’t leave me, either, right? Please don’t.”

“I would never.”

The final time was when she was alone.

She was alone in her room when it really sunk in on her. She was alone. Not in the literal sense, that was obvious. But she was alone, mentally. She was by herself.

She was everyone’s friend. She always made a point of talking to people. Learning about them as people. Making sure their issues are taken care of. Making sure they’re okay.

But nobody did that for Kaede.

Kaede couldn’t talk about her problems with anyone. She couldn’t. She couldn’t, she couldn’t, she couldn’t. Not for the sake of everyone. For their sake, she had to be strong. She had to keep it quiet. She could keep it in for everyone. She’d done it before (she couldn’t quite remember where, but she had something akin to deja vu concerning this), she can do it. 

Plus, when they get out, she could tell them about her feelings. She can do this. Just keep it bottled in for however long it took. It’d be okay.

It’d be okay.

She was crying when a knock came to her door.

She opened it.

Miu was there, just as much of a mess as she was. Eyeliner running, snot dripping out of her nose, hair sticking up in several parts, and wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and her underwear. God, what made her leave her dorm in that?

“H-hey, Bakamatsu…” Miu looked down at the floor, right hand holding her elbow. She still had her gloves on, Kaede noted. “D-do you think I can spend the night in y-your room?”

Kaede rubbed her eyes and hoped they weren’t too red. “Yeah, go ahead.” She opened the door wider and Miu darted in.

“Thanks...I’m not a bother, am I?” Miu darted her eyes around the room and awkwardly curled in on herself and approached the bed and sat on it.

“No..? Why would you be?” Kaede answered as she collapsed on the bed next to Miu. “You’re my friend, and so much more to me. We’re dating, for goodness’ sake.”

“HA-HA!” Miu jumped up and pointed at Kaede. Kaede looked at her, obviously confused at Miu’s sudden laugh. “SO YOU ADMIT IT!”

“Th-that we’re dating?”

“No, no, not that, you idiot, the fact that I’m not a bother! So, logically, you’re not a bother to me either!”

“...You’re kidding, Miu. I know that.”

“Obviously, you don’t! You always bottle up what you’re feeling, Kaede, I’ve seen it! And also Rantaro and Shuichi aren’t good at keeping their mouths shut.” Should’ve seen that coming.

“O-oh, that? That was nothing.” Kaede started brushing through her hair with her fingers, since her clips had been taken out already.

“Really?! ‘Oh gee these tears are just from me being so happy for you to be painting my nails, like you do every week!’” Miu did some obnoxious falsetto when imitating Kaede.

“Well, not like that, but you know what I meant.”

“Hm. Really,” Kaede’s replied, voice thick with sarcasm.

“You know you do!” Miu snapped. “Anyway, the point is that you can come to us when you need help, Kaede. You can do that, you know. You’re always here for us, so we’re here for you. You’re our friend, Kaede.”

Kaede’s eyes began to water again and she quickly covered them. “M-Miu, I told you some things are better left unsaid…”

“And this isn’t one of those times!” Miu boasted before snuggling into Kaede. “Now! Can I really spend the night? I’d like to cuddle you and make sure everything is okay.”

Kaede smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, you can.”

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't mean to make this kaemiu i swear  
> also it's kinda messy oopsy but whatever i hope u like it


End file.
